I am getting a transmission right now, or maybe it's just gonna be a good old fashioned RANT - you decide whether or not this resonates with you.
I see a lot of people everywhere, hung up on finding their twin flame, soul mate, life partner, etc. Though these concepts seem so positive and loving and full of light, what I mostly see is just people who are stuck and depressed!! How can this be??
I have been just as guilty of getting hung-up on this issue as well, and have a lifetime of "failed" relationships behind me -- Or so I thought until very recently. I am beginning to see it in a new light, and I really feel compelled to share this.
You don't fail at anything unless you fail to learn from the experience.
We've all heard the old expression that you can't love another until you learn to love yourself first, right? If you can get that part down, then your love of self radiates to others. In fact, it might even attract the wrong sort of people (or simple unconscious people) to you like a magnet, because when you DO love yourself, that makes you glow and shine and even the unawakened can sense that there is something special about you, and they just WANT it. And you, being the loving empath or general giving soul that you are, will be tempted to give it all away to a point of hurting yourself.
The under-confident want to hang out with those who seem so hip and confident and secure in themselves because they are hoping to learn the secret - hoping some of that will rub off on them. And that's okay. You can shine your light and live by example - but you also have to shield yourself from being drained. Sometimes it is best to live by example as your lotus is sprouting, rather than try to "save" someone... because usually what ends up happening is that they just drag you back down into the mud with them.
Not only that, but by you trying to do the work for them, you are actually robbing them of the opportunity to grow for themselves. You are doing them an injustice. It's like the old adage, "Give a man a fish and he'll eat for a day, but teach him how to fish and he'll support himself." Something like that. And you have to realize that not everyone wants to learn how to take care of and nurture themselves with Love. Many just want you to be the president of their pity party and you have to realize that is not helping anyone at all! Real change comes from within. You can't teach motivation. Sometimes saying no to someone is saying YES to yourself (back to that - can't love someone else without loving yourself first) and it is not only what is best for you but what is best for them, too - like a loving parent. If a mother ties her child's shoes every day, that child will never learn how to tie their own shoes, right?
Okay, that's one thing... Self love first, then love of others becomes possible, especially when you see every person as a reflection of yourself. And even if you are in a relationship presently, I think it's important to constantly be vigilant about this self love. Take care that you are not becoming too dependent or addicted to the other. A phrase I came up with recently to embody this concept:
All of my relationships manifest in relation to how I relate to myself.
Mediate on that awhile. It will start to make sense sooner or later.
The other thing that has been my lesson lately, is that I am learning, over and over again, that the only "True Love" that exists is the love that EXPANDS my soul to encompass all people, firstly forgiveness for myself for all the mistakes I have made which opens me up to forgive others, even the ones who have hurt or abused me, even the ones who don't love me back, all the plants, animals, trees, the people who are hurting and destroying Mother Earth, the so-called "evil" that is out there... I have to embrace all of it with a sense of detached compassion - this is a concept that is prevalent in many disciplines, Zen, Buddhism, and some others I'm sure. The idea is that you feel love and compassion for ALL THINGS, but without attaching yourself in a way that is harmful to you or sapping of your energy.
When we REALLY start to feel that we are connected to the Whole, The ONE, and that everything, even the body of the Earth is a part of us - our bodies and emotions are in harmony with Gaia and the Moon and Sun... We have to realize that Gaia is undergoing major transformations right now. She is awake, alive, and she has her own evolution underway... Some call it ascension... Call it what you like... But if you feel in tune with Gaia then you know what I'm talking about.
It may be that I cannot be satisfied or at peace in a singular love relationship because by pouring all of my focus and love into one person, I am in a sense robbing the rest of the world who also needs my love.
Maybe when we focus on healing our shared Earth, pouring our love into Her and each other, the rest will just naturally fall into place. They say the best way to meet your soul mate is to just be involved in doing what you really love... then love naturally finds you.